Script: S1E3 Nowhere to Run

SCENE 1
'[MILES enters an empty elevator alone as the song “Nowhere to Run” by Martha and the Vandellas plays. Somewhere along the line, he is crammed into the elevator by a janitor, two men moving a large plant and a filing cabinet, and a man smoking a cigar; after they exit, two young ladies enter the elevator full of smoke. They whisper to each other after seeing a disheveled MILES, and push each other playfully, then one presses all the buttons in the elevator as she  exits on her floor. MILES exits the elevator into the main office and the song fades.]'

♪ Nowhere to run to, baby ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide ♪

♪ Got nowhere to run to, baby ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide ♪

♪ It’s not love I’m running from ♪

♪ It’s the heartbreak I know will come ♪

♪ ’cause I know you’re no good for me ♪

♪ But you’ve become a part of me ♪

♪ Everywhere I go, your face I see ♪

♪ Every step I take, you take with me, yeah ♪

♪ Nowhere to run to, baby ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide ♪

♪ Got nowhere to run to, baby ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide ♪

♪ I know you’re no good for me ♪

♪ But free of you, I’ll never be, no! ♪

♪ Each night, as I sleep ♪ 

♪ Into my heart you creep ♪

♪ I wake up and I’m sorry I met you ♪

♪ Hoping soon that I’ll forget you ♪

♪ When I look in the mirror… ♪

'CORKY: Miles! I've been looking for you! There's a story idea I've been working on! It's a very special piece, and I'm very passionate about it, Miles. I hope you say yes.'

'MILES: What is it? '

CORKY: I want to interview Indira Gandhi.

MILES: She's dead.

'CORKY: Well, then somebody like her! Golda Meir.'

MILES: Also dead.

'CORKY: Well, it doesn't have to be someone in politics! Margaret Mead.'

MILES: Dead.

'CORKY: All women, all famous, all dead! I think I'm on to something, Miles! I’ll get back to you.'

'[CORKY walks away, and MILES approaches MURPHY’s newest victim- I mean, secretary. I meant secretary.]'

'MILES: Hi there! I’m Miles Silverberg, executive producer of FYI. Let me be the first to welcome you to our little family. Listen, how is Murphy today? Good mood? '

'SECRETARY #6: Sure! Fine!'

'MILES: Great! See? Despite what you may've heard, Murphy Brown can be a kind and caring person.'

[MILES knocks at MURPHY’s door, and she begins to yell at him.

'MURPHY [OC]: Get lost! '

[MILES enters the office as MURPHY speaks on the phone]

'MURPHY: Now, I'll need the German footage by Saturday, latest. Mickey, I'm begging you, for the good of the show- and for two 40-yard-line seats. That's my guy!'

[MURPHY hangs up the phone]

'MURPHY: Miles, I think I'm finally getting somewhere here! I've got a source that says his father met Bormann in Argentina as late as '75.'

MILES: Oh, the missing Nazi thing.

'MURPHY: Right. And there's a chance that Geisler and some others are living in a fishing village on the coast of Argentina.'

'MILES: Ooh, I can see why you're so excited. Jeez, we get a shot of some old geezer in some big rubber fisherman boots and maybe a shot of another old geezer playing Parcheesi by a bait-and-tackle shop! Whoa-whoa, exciting stuff! '

MURPHY: Cut to the chase, Miles.

'MILES: Well, I did come here with another story area- but it's really more of a "current/today" type of thing, you know? Headline blockbuster. Who needs it, huh? Besides, I can see you're already married to this old geezer-Nazi thing! You know, Diane Sawyer did the same story on 60 Minutes last week, but, hey, it's not like people compare you or anything!'

'MURPHY: What's your story? '

'MILES: I just got a telephone call. Anonymous. It looks like there's some dirty laundry on a highly visible federal prosecutor. Something about prostitution.'

'MURPHY: You expect me to drop everything because a federal prosecutor is fooling around with hookers? Miles, that's not a story, that's a given!'

'MILES: Even if the prosecutor is Robert Hawk? Who happens to be putting together a senate campaign? '

MURPHY: Keep talking.

MILES: The prostitution stuff is probably just a tiny, itsy-bitsy part of a very big payoff… Some sort of not-so-legal favor.

'MURPHY: By whom? '

MILES: I thought you weren't interested!

'MURPHY: I’m not! Who made the payoff? '

MILES: I don't know yet, but I've been promised it's someone very big.

MURPHY: Who's your source?

[Better safe than sorry, MILES shuts the door the rest of the way so nobody can overhear the conversation]

MILES: The Asp.

MURPHY: The what?

MILES: The Asp.

'MURPHY: What? '

'MILES: ASP! A-S-P, like the deadly snake. But if you're more comfortable with a story about retired Nazis who fly fish!'

'MURPHY: I’ll give this Asp 15 minutes. That's it.'

'MILES: 11 o’clock, Phil’s. The Asp will be waiting.'

[MILES exits quickly]

SCENE 2
[At PHIL’s]

'PATRONS: Close the door! '

PHIL: Now, there's a face I recognize!

MURPHY: Hey there, Phil.

'PHIL: What can I get you? '

MUPRHY: Nothing yet, uh… I need to ask you- is there an Asp here?

'PHIL: What? '

'MURPHY: Asp! Asp! Like the snake.'

'PHIL: Oh, Asp! Sure! Over there!'

[MURPHY sits down at a table which was in the general direction PHIL indicated, in front of a man in a trench coat.]

'MURPHY: Okay, if you've got something for me, let's see it! Otherwise, I've got things to do.'

'GUY: Hey, lady, I just came in here for a drink. '

'MURPHY: What are you talking about? '

'GUY: Eh, what the hell, you smell good! I got 30 bucks.'

[MURPHY hears a hissing sound from across the bar.]

'ASP: You looking for the Asp? '

'GUY: Hey, wait! You're Murphy Brown! Okay, I'll go 40 bucks!'

[MURPHY goes over to the other table where the elderly lady is sitting]

'MURPHY: You're the Asp? '

ASP: I don't remember, I’ve been sitting here so long!

MURPHY: I couldn't get here sooner, I’ve got a very busy schedule- 

'ASP: Oh, I know you're very busy, busy, busy with this and that and blah, blah, blah- you want a drink? '

'MURPHY: No, thanks. You got something for me about Robert Hawk? '

'ASP: Federal prosecutor, my eye. The guy is a crook! I know! I was his secretary for 6 years.'

[The ASP hands MURPHY a letter]

MURPHY: This is from Hawk to Leon Sturgess, the crime boss!

'ASP: That's right. You know, honey, you've put on a little weight, you better lay off the crullers!'

'MURPHY: ”Situation has been resolved. Charges dropped. Six digits, well-received, as were Fifi and her sister. My thanks, Bob." You're telling me Hawk has mob connections? Why are you doing this? '

'ASP: Well, if you must know I got tired of him undressing me with his eyes! The guy is a lizard! I am not a piece of meat!'

'MURPHY: Right! Uh, listen, how can I get in touch with you? '

ASP: You can't. You gotta do the rest yourself.

[The ASP gets up to leave]

'ASP: Well, it's been a fiesta. '

[The ASP walks past PHIL, who’s staring at her]

'ASP: And what're you looking at? '

PHIL: Hey, walk like that, you gotta expect it, kid!

SCENE 3
[MURPHY returns to the office and begins asking her secretary for help]

'MURPHY: Get me the Federal Building right away, please. Oh! And I’ll need copies of anything on Leon Sturgess from AP or UPI for the last 3 or 4 years.'

'SECRETARY #6: Sure! Fine!'

'[But the SECRETARY just sits there and does nothing. MURPHY suspects perhaps she’s sour with her.]'

'MURPHY: Listen, I want you to know that I'm sorry I haven't spent more time with you. I know it's your first day, and sometimes I can be a little gruff so… Just let it roll off your back, okay? '

'SECRETARY #6: Sure! Fine! No problem.'

[MURPHY becomes suspicious of the SECRETARY’s ability to speak English]

MURPHY: There's a roving band of gypsies behind you and they want you to be their queen.

'SECRETARY #6: Sure! Fine! No problem!'

'[MURPHY retreats to her office, defeated. She inadvertently shuts the door in MILES’ face, and he knocks sheepishly.]'

MURPHY [OC]: It's open.

[MILES comes in]

'MURPHY: Hang on to your penny loafers, Miles. I just spent all afternoon in the archives. In March of '87, Leon Sturgess was accused of tax evasion. Hawk has the case dismissed because of insufficient evidence.'

'Then a federal investigator decides to reopen the case, and Hawk had him fired. Ooh, I love the smell of this, Miles!'

'MILES: Murphy, I was thinking it over. I mean, this guy Sturgess… So, he was just trying to save a few bucks on his 1040! Who doesn't do that?'

'MURPHY: What's the matter with you? '

'MILES: Nothing's the matter with me! I just got to thinking, "Hey, let's lighten up here! Let's give the poor guy a break!" And you know, it's kind of disturbing to me to be thinking that while we're wasting our time on this, Hitler's golfing buddies are running around scot-free!'

'MURPHY: You're blithering! What is going on with you? '

'MILES: Some guy called. He said if we don't drop the story, he’s gonna send me to Toledo in several small sandwich bags.'

'MURPHY: Is that what this is all about? '

[MURPHY takes MILES out into the main office]

'MURPHY: Hey, everybody! Miles just got his first death threat! '

[Everyone cheers, and MURPHY and MILES return to her office]

'MURPHY: Death threats happen to every good journalist, Miles! You gotta look at it as a rite of passage.'

'MILES: I’m sorry, I had my rite of passage! There was a rabbi and a big buffet.'

'MURPHY: Why would this guy wanna kill you? I'm the one doing the story!'

'MILES: That's what I told him! But, he said they watch you on TV every week, and they think you're really pretty and they're still kind of old-fashioned about killing women.'

'MURPHY: Talk about your sexism! All the more reason to nail these guys to the wall.'

[MURPHY exits her office and trolls her SECRETARY on the way out]

MURPHY: Your hair's on fire!

SECRETARY #6: No problem!

[MILES and MURPHY walk over to the snack counter and talk]

'MILES: So let me just get this clear here, Murphy. You're saying I should treat this death threat business like a crank call? '

'JIM: You know, Miles, we've all been in your position. Believe me. The first time I got a death threat, I nearly went berserk!'

'MILES: What’d you do? '

'JIM: Two minutes to airtime, I looked down, and realized I had put on a light-blue tie with a brown suit. Stack of Bibles.'

'MURPHY: What we're trying to say, Miles, is it's only a scare tactic. They never follow up.'

[A man who looks like he’s straight out of “Goodfellas” exits the elevator into the main office]

'TIFFANY: Yo! Is there a Miles Silverberg around here? '

[Everyone hits the deck except for MILES, who’s frozen in fear, and the SECRETARY, who has no clue what the man just said]

'TIFFANY: I’m here to see Mr.Silver- I’m here to see Mr. Silverberg on some business. He called about a bodyguard!'

[Everyone gets up]

MILES: I’m Miles Silverberg.

'TIFFANY: Hey, how you doing? Tiffany Howard.'

'MILES: Tiffany? Hehehehe! Isn't that sort of a girl's name? '

TIFFANY: Now, as you know rates increase substantially for 24 hour protection and/or multiple locations, plus transportation to or from.

'So, how long you gonna be needing protection? '

'MILES: Well, I guess until Wednesday, until we run the story on Leon Sturgess. By then I-'

'TIFFANY: Whoa, hey, wait a minute. Leon Sturgess? The mob guy? '

'MILES: Yes. But like I said, by then everything will- '

'TIFFANY: Oh, wow, I forgot! I got a- I got a Jazzercise class at 3. I could kick myself for not remembering! What a dunce I am, huh? You have a nice day!'

[TIFFANY exits hastily]

MILES: I’m a dead man.

'SECRETARY #6: Sure! Fine! No problem.'

SCENE 4
[CORKY is on the phone at the glass meeting table]

'CORKY: Oh, no! Well, when did Mrs. Perón pass on? Please send my condolences to Mr. Perón. '

[There’s a pause and the person on the other line says something, presumably that Mr. Perón is also deceased]

CORKY: Oh!

[CORKY hangs up]

CORKY: This is depressing.

FRANK: Corky, why don't you try Imelda Marcos?

CORKY: Very funny!

[CORKY walks away, and MURPHY gets off the elevator and sees a new SECRETARY]

'MURPHY: Hello! I’m Murphy Brown.'

'SECRETARY #7: Oh, yes, I know. It's a pleasure to meet you! I am Katie Holtz.'

'MURPHY: Hi, Katie. Um, listen, I know you've probably gone through this with personnel already but, just out of curiosity, what sort of background do you have? '

SECRETARY #7: Well, I worked for 5 years as an administrative assistant at the Ross Corporation, and before that, as an executive secretary for 2 years Kreppler & Hobbes legal offices and before-

'MURPHY: Oh, great! Excellent. I'm sure this will work out fine.'

'SECRETARY #7: Oh, so am I! I already like you, and when I spoke to satan this morning before breakfast, he pretty much guaranteed this would be a great experience! So! What would you like me to do? '

[MURPHY reacts fearfully and in a panic]

MURPHY: Take this stapler to the lobby!

[The SECRETARY leaves, and a disheveled MILES exits the elevator]

'MILES: Hey, Murphy! Jim, Frank. So, how are ya? '

'MURPHY: Miles, what happened to you? '

'MILES: Oh, nothing really. A car. Lost control on South Capitol. Ran up on the sidewalk.'

MURPHY: Miles, I know what you're thinking, but I'm sure it was an accident!

MILES: And followed me for 2 and a half blocks.

MURPHY: Oh.

MILES: But, I guess that sort of thing has happened to you guys, huh?

[Entire office says “no”]

JIM: Just- just a phone call.

'MILES: Murphy, how ya doing on the story? I'd hate to think you hit any snags that would make us have to drop it.'

MURPHY: Miles, I'm this close to frying these guys!

'MILES: Oh, good. Great. Oh, look at the time.'

'[MILES glances inattentively at his watch, and gets in the elevator and leaves. Everyone who’s in the elevator exits and leaves him alone.]'

MURPHY: Frank, you don't think there's really anything to this death threat, do you?

FRANK: Well, if he asks you to slow dance near a window… Ix-nay, babe, ix-nay!

'MURPHY: What am I supposed to do, drop the story? I've never dropped a story! It's extortion!'

'FRANK: Look, why don’t you take what you've got to the prosecutor’s office? Let them handle it from here!'

'MURPHY: The whole office could be dirty! I don't know the good guys from the bad guys yet! Frank, what would you do? '

FRANK: Ask your advice.

MURPHY It wouldn't be so bad if he'd just tell me to drop the story, but he's being so brave!

'FRANK: I know! My bet in the office pool had him on a bus to Seattle 2 days ago.'

'MURPHY: I hate when stuff like this happens! Everything was working so well. I was gonna put guys in jail. It's my favorite thing!'

'FRANK: Aw, don't take it so hard, Murph. The Republicans are still in office! There'll be other chances!'

SCENE 5
'[On the set of FYI, but no one is there and the lights are off. MURPHY turns them on.]'

'MURPHY: Miles? Miles, I know you're in here. Look, I know you're scared.'

MILES [OC]: Am not.

MURPHY: Would you get out here?!

[MILES comes out from under the news desk]

MILES: How'd you know I was here?

MURPHY: The janitor.

'MILES: The janitor? Ernie? Ernie told you I was here? I can't believe it. He said they'd have to cut out his heart before he'd tell. That's what he said, Murphy, they'd have to cut out his heart!'

MILES: Look, I know this hasn't been easy for you.

'MURPHY: Easy? I stopped answering my phone! I'm afraid to start my own car, so I took the subway! Where, by the way, I was mugged.'

[MILES begins unrolling a sleeping back on the desk]

'MURPHY: Look, there's a reason why I needed to find you tonight. I've been giving this a lot of thought and… Considering the circumstances, I think we should drop the story.'

'MILES: What? '

'MURPHY: It isn't all bad, I can pass it on to Jane Pauley! Maybe they'll kill her!'

'MILES: Wow, I really appreciate it, Murphy… But I've been giving it some thought, too! And I've decided that- we're journalists, right? A free and courageous press is the backbone to this society. The public needs to know the truth. And it's our responsibility to see that they get the truth, regardless of personal risk. Crime cannot, must not, win out. We can't drop the story, Murphy. We owe it to the American public.'

MURPHY: Okay.

[MURPHY smiles and walks away, but MILES stops her]

'MILES: Wait! It was a joke! Kidding! We don't owe the public anything!They don't care! We don't even know most of them anyway! I was kidding, Murphy! I'm here all alone, waiting for some guy to come in here and hack me up like a piece of liver.'

'MURPHY: Miles, it's late. I've got a long drive home. You're in bed already! Now, what's it gonna be, story or no story? '

'MILES: Why are you making me decide? I thought you'd do the story no matter what.'

MURPHY: So did I. …Aw, will you stop looking at me like that?

'MILES: Like what? '

'MURPHY: Like Bambi caught in my headlights! This should be easy! Cut and dried! We're journalists! We run stories! But I like you, Miles. I like that you never give up. I like the way you pester me. I'm even getting used to the smell of Clearasil in your office. And, believe me, I hate it that I like you.'

MILES: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

'MURPHY: Just don't blab it around, okay? All right, let's come to a decision here!'

'MILES: You know, all I ever wanted to do was work in the news. When I was a kid, that's all I'd watch on TV. I'd think, “Wow, look at those pictures. There's a reporter and a camera crew crawling around in the trenches getting that story. Those guys are heroes.” Other kids wanted to be cowboys. Not me. I had this fedora with the word "Scoop" written on a little card, it was- it was stuck in the brim. We run the story.'

'MURPHY: You got it. You gonna be okay? '

'MILES: Yeah. '

MURPHY: See you tomorrow, Scoop.

SCENE 6
[During a broadcast of FYI, in the studio]

'MURPHY: And late today, both Robert Hawk and Leon Sturgess were arraigned in federal court. Hawk has been charged with accepting a bribe and obstructing justice, while Sturgess was brought up on 3 counts of bribery, and 2 counts of obstructing justice. In addition, federal authorities are now looking into allegations of extortion. Jim?'

'JIM: Thank you, Murphy, for that electrifying report. Frank, fascinating tour of Edwards Air Force Base. And, Corky, interesting visit to a séance. Nice try. This has been another edition of FYI, goodnight.'

STAGEHAND: And we're clear!

[Everyone gets up and takes off their mics]

'MURPHY: Has anybody seen Miles? '

'CARL: Silverberg? Is he still alive? '

'MURPHY: Ernie, you seen Miles today? '

[MILES comes out of the woodwork]

'MILES: Murphy! Fantastic job! Winner! Beauty!'

'MURPHY: Miles, where have you been?! If you ever scare me like this again, I'll kill you!'

'MILES: I fell asleep in the bathroom. But I got up to the booth just in time to see Sturgess being taken into custody! Whoo-hoo, did we stand our ground!? Heh! I feel good! Guess people know not to mess with Miles Silverberg! HEY!'

MURPHY: Miles, don't make me deck you!

STAGEHAND: Hey, Miles, you got a call.

'MILES: Oh, yeah? '

'STAGEHAND: Yeah. Guy named Leon something said, "I'll be out in 5 to 7 short years. Then I'm gonna hunt you down and kill you like a hog in the street." '

'CARL: No, that's a D. It says "a dog in the street." Why would a hog be in the street?'

'STAGEHAND: Well, it says "hog." Look at it!'

'CARL: You're out of your mind! That's a D! Dog in the street. A hog wouldn't be in the street, that's stupid!'

'MURPHY: Miles, some advice- hang tough! You made the right choice, you know.'

MILES: Right.

MURPHY: So, see you tomorrow.

'MILES: Wait a minute. That's it? '

'MURPHY: Did I forget something? '

'MILES: I don't know. Just seems a little strange, doesn't it? After all this, life goes on as usual?'

'MURPHY: Oh. I guess you thought that maybe when someone risks their life, there'd be some acknowledgement.'

MILES: I don't know.

MURPHY: Hey, everybody, let's hear it for Miles!

[Everyone says “meh” unenthusiastically]

MILES: Thanks.

[MILES and MURPHY hug]

SCENE 7
[In MURPHY’s townhouse; she’s just come home]

'MURPHY: Eldin, I'm home! Come on, I know you're here! You're always here!'

'ELDIN: Aw, jeez, could you please keep it down? I got a splitting headache! Do you know you need a new box spring? '

'MURPHY: So… I see you got a lot done today! Scaffold's still here, wall's still unfinished. But I don't care! I had one of those really perfect days, and I feel great.'

'ELDIN: What do you got to be so cheery for? You know, it's very annoying.'

'MURPHY: What's wrong with you? '

'ELDIN: Painter's block! The- the trim. It just doesn’t- it doesn't sing to me.'

'MURPHY: Ah, well! I think maybe you need a little inspiration. I've got just the thing!'

[MURPHY turns on the song “Dancing in the Street” by Martha and the Vandellas]

'ELDIN: Oh, please, can- I’m not in the mood. I’m not in the mood! Use the headphones.'

'MURPHY: Come on, Eldin, how could you listen to this and not feel better? I bet you're a great dancer~! Come on, Eldin, life's too short!'

'It's good for the soul! Come on!'

[MURPHY begins dancing]

ELDIN: You dance like a white girl.

'MURPHY: What are you talking about? '

ELDIN: Like this.

[ELDIN begins showing MURPHY how to dance, and she joins in after a moment]

MURPHY: You feel better?

'ELDIN: I feel tremendous! This is the part where I flip ya.'

'MURPHY: What?! '

[ELDIN picks MURPHY up over his back and the show cuts to black]